renewed

sometimes there is nothing sweeter than talking with a friend. a friend who has known you nearly half your life. she's cried on your shoulder and made you laugh through your own tears. she's gotten into trouble with you, in spite of you, instead of you. she stayed the course through your darkest storms, and shut the curtains when the sun shone too bright. she knows you, faults and all the strangest bits, and appreciates the spectrum. she cares enough to tend your relationship when you feel to weak, and listens when you are so happy and relieved you can hardly pause to let her speak. she is wonderful and sincere, imperfect and pure. she should feel my gratitude on this chilly day, in a quick hug, and a second floor screaming child wave good-bye. i feel renewed!

part of the program

...includes exercise. Right? That goes along with the whole weight loss New Year, new me deal. Tonight I got a quick and intense work out. All you need is a $79 Ikea rug, one two year old, cottage cheese vomit. Scrub till the smell goes away! Get that heart pumping and arms moving (the rest of you will jiggle and shake, providing added stimulation to the bod).
I am not complaining, because throwing up is part of the program. I did it when he was cookin', he's doing it now. Full circle.

i'm noticing a pattern here...

The kids are napping, so I was looking at our pictures from our 20 hour mini-vacation. We stayed in a hotel a few miles from home--pool and jacuzzi, room service, HGTV. It was fun, and a good test run in case we decide to make a trip to Dallas or D.C. this summer (non-camping destinations). I realize a variety of toys is important; more snacks for the kids, electric tea kettle and patience should also be easily accessible. It was a sweet little get-away. But the thing that really caught my attention in the photos, was my own image. Argh!

Recently I have acknowledged how unhappy I am in my own squishy and over sized bod; I am taking steps to change that part of my life (the body is the easier part of this endeavor). Mainly because I do want to have a life. I don't like being fat. Uh-uh. Not at all. You see, it is uncomfortable. Yes, I can wear clothes that look okay, but I have to start being honest. Those clothes have very little to do with how I look. Mostly the clothes that come in my size should be considered less-unflattering.

Its not just that last 10 pounds after having 2 kids in less than 2 years. No, it is 15 years of mistreating myself, and 5 months of a severe drive-thru addiction, which equal a scary last 100 pounds. That is One Hundred. Just after the first of the year I was confronted with the reality of my visage. It made me break down and sob uncontrollably. My husband loves me so much, and is always making me feel beautiful. He doesn't want to hurt my feelings (and he is just a randy rascally fellow), so I kept fooling myself by using his love and devotion and desire for me as a measure of my physical beauty. Who would have ever believed that someone could truly love me for who I am, not for how I look. Amazing. (double standards, anyone?)
I've been editing myself in my blog posts. I've been editing myself in my own head. I've been editing myself in my expression. Do any of you remember the Jenny who loved being the center of attention? Who would sing with you and to you at the top of her lungs? Who would say anything she thought (almost) to kick butt in make me laugh? (who couldn't hold in her own laugh because some of you are really stinkin' funny) I must have eaten her, because that Jenny is hidden deep inside this size 18 top and 24 bottom. Well, I'll be doing some more editing, but not trimming my opinions, passions, or expression. I'm going to be editing my pant size.

I wont, however, continue to edit my image. There are some horrendous photos of me from our wonderful night in Brooklyn Park. (Exotic, yes?) I am going to share them with you here, as part of my uncut version of my world. And the photos above... Those are all the mirrors in my house. The only full length mirror is on the back of our bedroom door. There is no good light, so its easy to accept what shadows do not highlight. I've always heard women say they would only look at themselves from the chest up. It finally dawned on me that is what I have been doing. Denial is not just a river in Egypt (Actually, the Nile begins in Ethiopia (and Uganda) flowing North!).

Lets call these the Before photos. Amen!

Kiitoksia!

thank all y'all for the happy wishes!!!

U + ME = 4EVER

We did celebrate today-- on a real date outside of the house! My Mom came to watch our treasures (the babers) while we saw a film in a movie picture house ;) followed by a swing through my favourite boutique (Target) for t.p. and the celebration culminated with a half-caf at Dunn Bros. I love a good afternoon date. I worry about the kids when we go out at night--probably because it seldom occurs. Evening dates, I mean. Since I work in the evenings during the week and SaturDays(I'm glad we can swing it with our schedules, no daycare), I like to be with my family as much as possible. I want us to put them to bed, it is what we signed up for!
So, thanks Mama for a bit of time with my honey.

It's been the best four years of my life! I love me some Habtamu!!!!

Dental cleaning

I asked the lady at the front desk in my dental office whether anyone had cancelled their appointment today to watch the inauguration. She scoffed and said "No, but if they did, I would have sent them to the insane asylum." I buried my head in my OK mag and smirked and shirked because I contemplated rescheduling my cleaning. The conversation continued without me between Front Desk Lady and Patient Waiting for His Wife. He was enjoying the greatness of the historical implications, she replied with, "He isn't even Black! And they are really playing that up." My Mom is 100% Finnish in her ethnicity, and I totally claim Finnish as my heritage. What, so now I'm not Finnish? Who knows what the heck Front Desk Lady was really getting at, but I found the humor in it (something my lovely husband--who must not be Black either, he's Ethiopian--has taught me: handle this kind of misunderstanding with grace and mercy). I didn't want to miss the swearing in ceremony. But my hygienist got me in a few minutes early and I was back home with one minute to spare.

small world is my world

Frist Hand

This is a link to a story that has touched my family.

Bob

Yesterday we were at Auntie Mari's house. Suvi is not too sure she wants to love Bob, who seems to love her!

losing it.

My Saturday morning opened with high emotion--tears of shame, doubt, fear, sadness--grieving the loss of a wonderful gift of hair. It was the second time Mary came to see me, with about 2 or 3 years since our last visit. She was wearing the same gorgeous silk Givenchy scarf. (I would love to own it.) Her hair reflected the space of the appointments once we removed the comb and pins, white and airy flowing halfway down her back. It is lovely hair, with the exception of the missing bit on the top of her head. And not just a bit--all the hair on the top of her head is 1/4 of an inch--or less. She'd been trying to wear her hair in an upswept bun, as usual, but the missing hair, which was now so obvious, troubled her. Miss Mary couldn't arrange her long hair Trump-enough to disguise the source of her embarrassment. She's had Shingles, dangerous for a 96 year old; it affected her scalp, causing her hair to fall out.
Truthfully, I was shocked when I saw the extent of the hair loss. Her daughter is a client of MOE, so when she made the appointment for Mary, describing the situation, even she didn't realize just how much hair was gone. Mary's daughter had thoughts of cutting the hair short, so that Mary would wear her 'do like many women of her generation, short and set on rollers. But there was simply too little to work with on the top, and by the tears that continued to well in Mary's eyes while we consulted, I just couldn't cut it all off. I was fighting tears, or as I used to say, my eyes were hot.
I was scared that I wouldn't be able to help Mary cover her head. Her daughter was full of encouragement and suggestions, "It will be just fine, Mom. You'll be able to style it like you always do, but are you sure you don't want to cut it short?" It was light, but constant pressure until I set my pain for Mary aside and started thinking simply about that 96 year old head. I took quite a bit of length from the back, leaving plenty for rolls and buns (hmm, never realized the food connection there :), cutting the sides much shorter, angled toward the back. She can still put her hair in rollers. She'll have to roll those sides up and do a good job on the back-combing for a half a year or so, but we got her looking much more like herself.
I really enjoy my work, but making a connection like last Saturday morning's, putting myself to that kind of test, puts a sweeter spin on it. As she was leaving, Mary came around the desk and said, "I didn't catch your name." After I reminded her, she thanked me a few times, and told me she hoped that when I am 96, someone treats me with as much kindness as I'd shown her. I thanked her for coming in, and for trusting me to help her. It was perhaps the greatest moment of my life as a hairdresser.

a day with auntie

more of the babes

brushing Percy's teeth. smoochable neck roll.

and last night in the salon...funky town. We were just joking around trying to get a photo of the two of us (this is my friend L.L. cool Beans).

The day after Christmas

This is St George's Church in Lalibela. Its carved out of rock. If you are an Amazing Race fan, the competitors were there 3 years ago, attempting to match their Cross to one of the monks' or priests' Cross.

This is our shower curtain...(part of it).

Yesterday was Ethiopian Christmas. I was having trouble uploading photos yesterday, and was in a bit of a hurry to do it before work, so here we are today... Blessed Christmas Greetings!

lashes

Once I peel off those MAC lashes, it's back to stubby naturals to do the job of protecting my eyes. But I do love long false flirty lashes. I wear them when I am feeling self-indulgent, or when the guilt of taking care of myself ebbs enough to jazz myself up. I like to wear them when I feel that need for something extra (special? hmm. just extra). I wore 2 different sets in the last week. Sigh... something is still missing. It is the passion. NPR had a great program at some point after Christmas (but the exact day escapes me. New Year's Eve?) The time of day and even the particular program details aren't important, it was the energy and the passion that were so memorable. A man was receiving recognition for his work (some kind of recordings, maybe?), and the audience of his peers, and it sounded like peeps, cheered and whistled and clapped to celebrate his accomplishment. I want that. Not the hoots and hollers for a stellar color or magnificent brow shape, but the camaraderie. The salon where I exhibit my skills (and sometimes encounter learning opportunities, heh) has just one employee. So it is me and the boss stylin' it up over there. I miss working with women (my boss is great, but I need some girls, too) and being able to hash over a salon event (crazy clients, wacko home color jobs, demanding bang people) and getting excited about new trends in color and style changes. I want to celebrate a great color and talk about formulas, styling products to scream over, and enjoying being a positive force together. Just the two of us, we can make it if we try, just the two of us... MOE and I are planning to attend a class in August (it was scheduled for February, and pushed back). Looking forward to learning more about my work!!!! Thanks JS, oh, make that JJ for the encouragement to touch on salon life. I've started other entries, but they didn't flow. Hopefully I'll find a way to share some of the stories that hatch in our sweet little parlor! Until then, look for me at the lash counter (I'm the one with the fab lashes, no make-up and the double stroller! LOL!)

I just love how the color of these grasses/weeds is fading as winter progresses. This is the South side of our garage. Yes, we really are fancy.

meep.

"Bye bye Melanie!" Theo said as you drove off. Miss you already.

Goodnight 2008

Our New Year's Eve celebration. Cookie exchange goodies (the thumbprint and monster cookies were consumed before the camera came out) and tea.

I made these ice candles yesterday, and put them out around 10:30 last night. I'd been wondering how to make them, they are part of my Finland memory and found them on Becca's blog.

We heard fireworks as we were drifting to sleep as the New Year began. Goodnight 2008, Good morning 2009!