BFF

It seems like I have been BFF: breast-feeding forever.

It started almost 8 years ago...I was so determined to figure it out. I felt as though it was the one thing I would not compromise. It took 4 months before I could get him to latch on without a silicone nipple shield. Four months of being as discreet as I could. I brought expressed milk in bottles to church. Trying to feed that first one without my Boppy pillow and footrest seemed impossible. He was 8 months old when I switched completely to formula because his sister was on her way.

Labor and delivery with Suvi were ideal, as far as the watermelon/lemon thing goes. My water broke around 6 AM and she was born by 11:40 AM. She looked like a little wet kitten. She latched on like a champ! She was such an easy baby, with a super loud cry. I was tired with a toddler and a newborn.  I could sit on a friend's couch, without my Boppy, we even went camping, and feeding her was just fine.  We made it 5 1/2 months of nursing until she switched to formula. I still feel a little sad about that, but she seems to be doing ok. She's in first grade.

Judah nursed for 14 months. I felt like a champ. I sat in the mother's room with him at church, chatting with the other ladies. I fed him at the park, and in the dark, and something that rhymes with -ark. Ha. It was easy & I could cover up easily, and I pumped at work. 14 months.

With this guy, any modesty I had left is gone. It's like I care, but not more than I care that he's crying. And I have the other needs of the older kids to worry about. So I've fed him at the bus stop in a sling under a hooter hider, in Costco at the lunch tables, and last Sunday in my church pew. I'd already been in the cry room with him for a snack, and I just didn't want to go out again. Probably left my friend sitting on the same bench mortified! 

I'm not trying to be some shirtless statement maker. I don't know, I'm just desensitized. And this time is going so quickly! Russell is already 169 days old! Teehee. I counted it out only for this post. He's 5 1/2 months old. I'm enjoying being his Mom. Someday he'll be getting traffic tickets and taking his future wife on their first date. He won't remember snuggling sessions with me after his feedings. I will. I'll remember the weight of this baby in my arms and on my shoulder. I'll remember tracing his eyebrows, patting his back, counting his rolls. I'll forget who I may have flashed a little nip nop to, but I'll always remember my little babes as babes at the breast. 

(In a sweet, non-creepy way.)