We have it all

Russell has strep throat again, or more likely, still. A month ago he, Suvi, and Judah did 10 days of antibiotics to kill strep, but this guy is miserable again. Throwing up, stinky runny diapers, cranky, over tired. And I'm exhausted. Habtamu has been sleeping on the couch more often than not so at least one of us can sleep. Russell ends up in Dad's side of the bed an awful lot! 

I actually like sleeping with my kids once in a while. I love that little warm breath keeping pace through the night. But Mr Russgus likes to sleep east/west in a full size north/south kind of bed. He still gets up every night sometime between 11 and 1 o'clock. After that, he can't seem to settle back into his own bed. He'll keep waking up bawling many times. So it's probably counter productive to have him sleep with Mom, yet it keeps him sleeping longer and the house quiet for the rest of these hooligans.

And now he is sick. Again. 

I have been down with bug after bug myself since September. It's bringing me down. My clients are mentioning it. My Mom is telling me to eat oranges. 

I'm all, "Calgon, take me away!" (Not really. Baths take too long.)

It's difficult to maintain perspective when one is sleep deprived. I, for one, start to think of every detail about my life that isn't perfect. This house needs repairs, remodeling, clutter-reduction, redecorating. The same goes for me. My doctor retired last May, and I haven't settled on a new one. I need to make an appointment. The kids want to sign up for sports, but it's so expensive. My hair looks stupid. We don't see friends. We don't go on dates. I haven't been to Finland in 16 years. I keep losing my book. 

Blink, blink.

Then I start to feel guilty for not appreciating what we DO have. A car that's paid off, a (humble) house we can afford. A good clinic near-by for our otherwise healthy family. Gram 3 doors down. Friends we miss! Extended family that is safe and accounted for. 2 jobs we like. Library cards. An excellent school for our kids. A kindergartener who is starting to read!! HGTV. PBS. Adele. 45 minutes of cozy time on the couch to chat with and to be cheered by my faithful, hardworking husband.

Sigh. I do want a snazzy house, but I'm happy for the love inside our little, shabby shack. And that Spring is nearly here.