LOVE has come for you.

Monday, June 15, 2009


Seriously, sometimes Habtamu is wigglier than the kids. The light was low as the sun was setting and I kept telling him to be still so I could take a photo... maybe I should have asked instead.

Last Friday we drove over to Wayzata Beach to get out of the house and into some fun. There is a nice playground there and I was hoping to walk past the fancy pants shops after playing. Theo decided to walk into the lake, where he fell, soaking his clothes. I didn't have much for a change of wardrobe, so he got a dry diaper, a t-shirt, and Suvi's sweater. We skipped the walk because Daddy's socks and shoes were bogged down after fishing Theo out of the lake.

I have this fascination with that area--we went there often when I was a younger girl, teen years and early twenties--and the wealth that surrounds it. How is it that some people are thrifty and cautious, and engineering when it comes to money. I am so into the broke mentality that when I have a huge tip day, we always go out to eat, instead of saving it for a rainy day. And how is it that the "career" choices I have made, where I seemed to feel comfortable, have landed me in a job that doesn't bring home the bacon? Money will motivate me to do things--i am thrilled to save big with sales and coupons, work a long day with the good service total. But there is a part of my brain that believes money is simply pretty green paper that floats in and out of our lives. Meanwhile, I'm just amazed at the price of dinner, tunics and hairdos by the lake.

I toured a beautiful salon next to the Wuollet bakery when I was in beauty school. It would have meant an apprenticeship before I became a stylist. The manager was so chilly and the atmosphere so severe (actually, the lighting was dim. hello? how can you see what you are doing?) that I could barely make it through the tour. My instructor recommended that I see the place, she was very supportive and gave me great confidence in my abilities. She wanted success for me. Honestly, it was intimidating--both the salon and the thought of financial success. I'd been receptioning at a nice salon before I started school, I already had a chair waiting for my graduation, it was fun and S.A.F.E. Interviews make me ill; after that safe salon closed and before I found MOE, I had to have a potty plan near any salon I interviewed. I'm not really sure where that backwards safety stems, but it is a part of me that I would like to improve. At this point in my life it is too scary to look for a different salon. The flexibility with my hours, the clean living salon owners, the nerdy camaraderie with Mark (birds of a feather--he's a clutter bug too), the economy (I'm so sick of 'the economy')... I would have to start over, and I don't know that a new salon would pay enough initially to make a change the better option. I love the salon, and I have some really great clients (a few of them would probably love it if I were operating a little Westerly), but our money is so tight. I feel responsible. I feel like I am not contributing like I should be. I always wonder if I should be doing ballyage in Wayzata for the rich, and wish-they-were-rich ladies. I wonder if my thought about suffering under the Wayzata pretenses was correct. I wonder where people over there driving past the lake, living in mansions, and mini-mansions, in Porshe SUV's, get all that dang money!? And why don't they drive it over to MOE and save a few bucks on their blonding!?

My husband is awesome and he usually knows what i need. He sent me this note first thing this morning:

Thought for the Day: “Happiness is a thing to be practiced, like the violin.”


Elizabeth said...

I think your heart knows where it's happy, and if it wasn't in that particular salon, then you wouldn't have felt any amount of money was worth the days at work. :)

But money really is just a form of energy, and it floats in and out of our lives.

I've been pondering money lately to see what my unconscious and semi-conscious beliefs are around it .. because they tend to get in the way. It's an interesting topic ..

Anonymous said...

habtamu is a great support for you. he certainly understands your moods, doesn't he?
~ann b.

Anonymous said...

I get like that about money too........there is never enough to stretch out over the week. But, I love that you treat your family with tip money. I say, enjoy the moment! Life is WAY too short----it's the little things in life we enjoy when we don't have gobs of money. Gobs = snobs.


Confused Chaos said...

You should look into being an instructor PT. That could bring in a few bucks.
Now that you've been working for so long there is a certain confidence that comes with that. You go into an interview and say, "I can do this and I rock! Oh, and I only will work these hours..." :)
It doesn't hurt to explore your options.
Also, spend those tips on fun, spending time with your family. Kids will remember the trip to the beach, walking in with their cloths on more than anything else... so will you.

ethiopifinn said...

e: yes, those belief systems DO get in the way, and not just about money (lets think about the other energy i have given priority--food is fuel, not stress management! :)
a: right? it is good. *sighs dreamily*
b: i wouldn't mind enjoying a couple of big things, tho. like a big hunk of land near a certain lake...any of your neighbors selling? haha

l:the educator thought has been thrown around for a while, but i guess it comes down to two things: i really like what i do and where i do it (i like being a service provider), and i must not be really ready to change (or feel that financially desperate) because I just don't move in that school direction, tho' the salary is tempting!

~ Junkyard Jennifer said...

I love this post. I can really relate to the 'safety' issue. There can be much reward in jumping from our safety nets but it definitely takes a lot of guts.

I agree with Bette, too... The hautiness that comes with money is definitely something I'm just as glad to do without! But sometimes I think it'd be fun to be able to buy the little things when you really want them instead of always having to wait for them. But I suppose we enjoy them all the more that way.

The Wayzata area is a fun place to visit. I miss those little things about living in Cokato. Being able to visit the cities, and all that it has to offer, more frequently. You grew up there, do you love living there? I'm more content in the country but I can't explain how much I love coming to the cities for visits, or even driving through on our way to Michigan.

ethiopifinn said...


I do love living here! When I was younger I imagined living in Cokato, but now I am really attached to the conveniences. but, i can't let my kids out in the yard alone. I would like to live in a place with a bigger, fenced in back yard.

MindiJo said...

Hmmm. This is an interesting post. I like it.

I feel like a broke record, but you should try Dave Ramsey's financial peace university. It teaches you to manage your money in a way that actually makes you feel financially secure. Regardless of how much you make. Once you figure it out, you will feel more peaceful. That, my friend, is priceless. Try it. I did and I loved it. So much that I am taking it again this fall.

I have to say: I would hate to cut hair for the snooty people of the world.

Jan said...

I am thinking about your post about helping the lady who was losing her hair. You wrote about helping her maintain her dignity. I think that is really moving-- have you ever thought about pursuing something more that direction? like helping people who are losing hair due to chemo or something? I am not in the field, so I have no idea if there is any such avenues to pursue- but it seems like it would be really rewarding.

I used to feel more like I should "earn" more towards the family "pot" but now I am more satisfied with the role I play. I have some small monetary contributions, but I the more kids we've had, the more important my "caregiver" role has become. And I feel like we both really worked (sacrificed) at getting Ron through nursing school- so he can be the main breadwinner. These are just my perspectives...obviously the post joggled some thoughts for me!

ethiopifinn said...

mindi, i was mentioning it, i mean d.r. to habtamu and we will talk about it more. i have been interested in your posts about it, so now it is time for me to do more research!

jan, i think that kind of hair care is at clinics, and truly i've never thought of it. i'll have to mull it over. habtamu is interested in going to school now, to move up in his company, which will mean more changes financially, with a better reward. lots of thoughts for both of us here... :)