Wishing and Hoping

You know, I can do all the wishin' and hopin' my little head is capable of, but sometimes it's --wait, MOST times, it is the moving and doing that gets me what needs getting.
Sigh.
It's New Year's Eve.  We are out of bread.  I am rather handy at baking bread these days, BUT...i don't WANT to. Pout, pout. I'm going to wake up tomorrow, and either we will have bread or we won't.  It is up.to.me.
It means change. It means stop moping because "things" are changing, and get with it.  DUDE! Do you want the bread?  Then get off of your money maker and get.the.bacon. Er, bread.
Yesterday I had lunch with some girlfriends.  It was so right and fun and encouraging.
   "You don't know everything.  Use all the tools that are available to you," said one fine friend.
Isn't she smart? SO SMART! My friends may not have known how much they were encouraging me; I was debating over taking one of the kids into the clinic, but that encouragement is flowing over to today as well.  I am going to bake my bread already.  And I called the (cue dramatic, scary music)...BANK.  I've been needing to do it for a month, but kept putting it off.
You are looking at an independent contractor (still in the salon where I have been employed for the last 10.5 years).  I needed to set up my bank account to accept plastic payment.  I will not be accepting rubber payment, so if you are broke, Girrrrl, reschedule. :) I have been hesitant/nervous/procrastinating switching over for several years and for many reasons...like, there was that 30 question test (which is not difficult) that I had to take. Twice. There is the purchasing of my own supplies.  There is the setting aside and paying of taxes.  There is the responsibility for my own success.  It is happening, Baby! I AM in charge of my business.
What a great friend and mentor my former boss and current Salon Owner has turned out to be.  He had to really push me quite definitely and firmly to make this change.  He has been gently nudging me for, seriously you guys, three years.  He and his bride are just good peeps. I feel very fortunate to have been able to grow up and through this decade at Mark of Excellence.
The folks around me are my tools, and collectively, they know so very much about living.  I will forever be a wisher and hope-er. A hesitant doer.  Ima jus do eet.
Happy New Year!
Here's hopin y'all are doin fine and baking your proverbial bread!  WiHOOOO!
2014 in da HA-OUSE!
Feel free to say a little prayer for me!

My list

It's short and pathetic and long lasting and redundant. 

Wanna hear it? (Again?)

Well, shoooooooh. Here goes!

-I completely suck at managing money

--and earning it

-I'm really fat

--and slowly getting fatter

---my son has commented on how fast I eat

---and his sister calls me Fat & Big Fat, daily when she's frustrated

-I'm self obsessed & 'helpless'

These are all things I can probably change, I can improve.  things I can make better, but they're always gonna be  challenges for me. it's part of who I am, and for now, it's literally weighing me down.

I had a no-show client today. And as I waited for my second client I could feel my anxiety rising. It was as if this client not showing up was like a personal rejection. In actuality, and I think that he is struggling with his own happiness and frustration levels at work and home, it's more of a reflection of his time management than an act of disrespect to me. But I felt like he was stealing from me. I felt guilty for taking time off (we were camping-it was LOVELY) last week. I was stressing about paying bills. About personal commitments I made for this week, thinking about how his generous tip would afford me those commitments. Plotting what I can sell. Questioning myself: if I have to be away from my family, why am I not doing all I can to earn more?

Then, I pulled out my phone, played a game (cut the rope) until my 2nd client arrived. She just got the news her hours are being cut at her job. Plus she has a sty and mono. Those are legit, out-of-her-hands problems. I'm just over here rockin my personal pity party for one. C'mon, Jennifer! Move your BUNS!

The ol' Switcheroo!

Judah writes with either hand.

i like these ol' beautes.

Suvi likes to use the camera.  you can see the reflection of her t-shirt in the window. i was just getting home from work when she took this photo.

today i have been a bit angsty, worrying about finances and the fact that judah needs a filling. he had an appointment last week, but wouldn't allow the dentist to even look at the tooth. it's 'L', for those of you who know your baby teeth. 

i heard the mail arrive and in it was some good, good celebration-worthy news for someone we love (we, as in my family in this house, not we, as in you the reader & i). also, we got the Valpak envelope & i wonder whether folks actually open &/or use the adverts inside. my heavy heart switched from worry and despair to tears of joy.  it's THE best kind of switcheroo.

Small & Simple

I spent the last 4-5 days near the loo.  Stomach bugs are no fun, you see, no fun attol.
Judah and I have been stinky partners in crime, butt (ha, ha) I think we are now in the clear.  AAAAAHHHHH! (angelic choir)

A consequence to the loss of fluids, was a reduction in my water retention.  At this level of obesity, I have heard it is not uncommon to retain water/have swelling in the legs/edema.  I have struggled with it for a long time, before I was, shall we say, quite so Large and In Charge.  I think it's the diet Coke and crap I eat, more than just the weight. Anyhoosie, my little feet have been looking like REGULAR ol' feet. No swelling. Don't get me wrong, I will always have cankles, but it was such a relief not to have puffy feet.  Sigh.  You MUST look for the good in things.
Crap your pants three nights in a row? At least your feet don't hurt.  Sanitizing every bloomin' surface under this roof? Thankfully, you bought that huge pack of Lysol at Costco.  Afraid to eat anything after having a poop-tastsic weekend? You got a little head start on your new weight-loss action plan!
And actually, that last bit of good was the point of my post.  I spent most of the day worried I was going to gain it all back, refilling my water cup, looking at my non-swollen feet, and eating small portion snacks/meals.  I had fountain pop twice last week, but haven't brought any 12 packs of diet coke in here for a few weeks.  It has been easier than I expected to move away from diet Coke, so I will just look at the food thing like the pop thing. How is this going to affect my feet?  Keep it small, keep it simple.  My outlook, my meal, my pocketbook, my shopping list...the same rule applies!!! (this rule DOES NOT apply to HAIR. BIG HAIR or go home, people)

Oh you GUYS!

My 4 year old is having a hard time getting to sleep tonight. It is 10:24 and the Habinator and I have shooed her back to bed many times already.
"Mom?"
"Hahh?"
"Does 'octogon' start with R?"
"O"
"Then what?"
"We''ll talk about it in the morning."
Pause.  Then a deflated, "Oh."

Daylight savings MY EYE.

in unrelated news, I am procrastinating with Olympian dedication, you guys.  I didn't do a lick of work or even prep today. I did, however, start on crocheting my first hot pad. That'll be real useful. And what-not.
Also, I spent a solid 30 minutes looking up a blog post to share with a client on fb. Then proceeded to  read some old posts. I miss those old days of lots of comments. It's like saving a conversation, you guys. Totally reminiscing about our blog-lationship, my bloginators! Lovin Y'ALL.

X2O (that is kiss to da hug) holla!

MUCH needed

Judah got a much need haircut this week.

Suvi asked, as she does everyday when I am leaving for work, to go with me to the salon.  I had a later start today, my first client being my Mom.  Suvi got her wish! And Theo wanted to come along. Probably because he was hoping there would be candy involved.  He got his wish! (There are no more Hair*Do Palooza chocolates left)  As we were getting our coats on to head out, Judah had a very mournful look on his little face. "I sad."  I knew he didn't want to be left out.  Again.  But there was no way I could have him running around the salon for an hour.  "The kids are getting haircuts, Judah.  Do you want a haircut?"
Big sigh. "No."

He HATES getting his haircut.  He just bawls and bawls and fights and tries to get away.  I actually have to hold him down with one hand and try cut with the other.  It is a major work out.  Theo was a champ at getting his haircuts by this age.  Judah is his own man.  If you've seen him lately, you know his hair was looking a bit raggedy. He's so handsome now.  My baby boy is growing up!

This is my Question

How do you know?

How do you know when it's just a test, or when it is the answer? When I pray for guidance, and then something happens which seems related, how do I know if I am being asked whether I am faithful, or if I am being shown a new window?

HOW DO I KNOW?!!!!!

I call dibs!

Hair Peace.

That has got to be the name of my someday salon.  At the door shall be a sign which reads WELCOME. Then, somewhere-maybe near the coat racks, a sign that reads We are happy you are here today. Thank you for turning down your phone and your politics. 

What do you think? Too pushy?

Alright. So maybe there was a little, shall we say, incident today. I'm working on letting it go and humbling my mouthy self. So thankful there is Grace sufficient for the likes of me.

Good-night, my friends!
Peace.

(come on, tho. Hair Peace. It's FUNNY.  {{wink}} )

a reflection

depending on where you sit, you can see forever. the clearest view is the the closest, however.

I choose SCORE BOARD.

because the words 'goal setting', 'targeted goal', 'intended outcome', 'resolutions', 'new year's resolutions', freak me out a little bit. but  i am ready to set some goals & make some sort of vision board. here is the first image going up on my Life Be Like board:

in the black.

i want to do more sewing and creating in general. i think it is time for me to make a daily schedule, so i can be sure i know what i am supposed to be doing and where and when. this loosey goosey style i have mastered has left me wanting more structure and falling short of my un-named goals. 

nothing changes until something changes.

i'm going to keep score. i'm going to make myself a score board. so when one of my visions, hopes, dreams, GOALS for 2013 materializes, i can say, 'SCORE!' and then, Life Be Like, so good to me!

What is going to make you shout "SCORE!!!"?

Well, here we are

I find myself wanting to burrow. Change=challenge=growth=good. It's a little something I picked up from an intelligent woman I have the privilege of knowing.

I have known for a few years that some New & Improved is trying to scooch in on my life. But I push it back down whenever it pops up. Change be scary up in hee-yah, y'all. I was the kid who never pulled out a loose tooth. I let it wiggle around in my smile until it freed itself from my little girl mouth. I would push it with my tongue and and test it with my fingers, but I did not pull. I saved them, too, in my desk drawer until I went to college. Serious.

So it should come as no surprise that I keep closing the windows when the winds of change come a blowin'. I am going to apply for the next level of cosmetology license; it's called a managers license, but I call it a big scam to squeeze more money out of me. (actually, the fee for my licensure is really quite reasonable, but this manager's lic. just seems silly. I will be no more qualified for what I do, but I will be allowed to legally go out on my own.) at this point I haven't any plan of leaving MOE, but with the new insurance and tax laws, it might be better for MOE if I become a contractor. This also means that I could have a change of venue. SO MUCH UNKNOWN. Maybe a little Mohawks&Mullets Salon in our dining room? The new year will be exciting, it seems.

CHANGE=CHALLENGE=GROWTH=GOOD.

Have a fantastic Friday. If you'll be traveling for the Thanksgiving holiday, I wish you smooth sailing. I am thankful for my dear family, these bright children, clean water, a minister I've known for a quarter of a century, a super duper husband, and I am thankful for you, my friend.

I like me some pink

it seems the ball has been dropped over here at ethiopifinn, when it comes to hairdos, at least!

after my client tonight, i glanced down at the open magazine on my station and was compelled to pick it up.  i proceeded to go through it page by page in an effort to better educate myself on the popular culture of hallywood. ;) this picture (1.) of Pink caught my eye.  The "article" was reporting a poll about whether people would wear a trend like the celebrity.  overwhelmingly the polled said they would NOT wear their hair like Pink.  i said to myself, *I* would.  And I will RIGHT. NOW.  I wish I was brave enough to rock the pale pink, but those days are gone for me now.  Well, until I am 75.  Then I'll go back to doing whatever I want.  Right?  

If you'd like to recreate this hair-do, follow my easy steps.  Look, we are ALREADY on step 2.  You are flying through it!  Way to go! 

Step 2. set aside 20 minutes (at most). 

step 3. section your hair in a mohawk (the top) and clip that middle section.  smooth down the sides and pin or tie or clip back.

       4. use your TeaZe brush or a comb to rat the heck out of your mohawk. it will stay better.

       5. curl  the ends with an iron or hot rollers, or plan ahead and dry your hair in rollers.  because i am sure you have rollers in your collections, don't you?!

       6. smooth your hair to one side. i went with my part, but you can do like pink and go left to right.  if you want to be wrong that is your decision. kidding.

       7. shape your roll with your fingers and pin in place (the "inside" or tail of your roll/curl)

       8. set with spray. (if your hair is short like mine, just pin the sides back. but it would be cool to do a french roll, bun, or pinned up curls in the back.)

       9. commence admiring your reflection.

      10. get a closer look at your rock and roll/retro awesomeness

      11. feel free to tame it down if you are going to grab groceries.

So, Just in time for Halloween, or if you are like me, Wednesday,  you have it within your means to rock your hair right out.

WAHOOOOOOOOO!

Pretzel sticks and diet dew

Late night whispering of life's events, early morning bathroom haircut, Walmart runs, beach, sun, endless conversation.

Oh! What a week.

Peaceful hearts for you my friends!

people to please, bills to pay

we had a garage sale.  it was fun.  it was A LOT of work.  soooo much sweating.  but i really liked it.  it has been slow for me again at the ol' salon, and we are back on the dave ramsey diet, so it was THE perfect time to sell off some of our goods.  i went to the bank to deposit cashola immediately without delay.  i paid two bills.  that would have otherwise been paid by pulling a rabbit out of my ass hat.  the Good Lord does indeed provide, my friends.

the sale was one step toward financial peace.  tcb: taking care of business!  but did you know that when you have a garage sale you get to be outside ALL day, and if your dryer is broken and you are displaying your wares on your drying racks, you don't have to do any laundry? YAY!  actually, i rather like doing the laundry, and not just because i like clean undies. i really like clean undies AND i like the simplicity of washing the clothes, hanging, folding, and then jamming them into drawers ( i like that last part less). i like to see if i did enough pre-treating and scrubbing to get suvi and judah's clothes clean. theo is neat and orderly, people. i digress.  it was simply lovely to sit in the shade, feel the breeze, see the people.

on top of that, some of our things found a new home. some other little baby girl gets to wear that adorable stripey sweater of suvi's i've been saving for 'what if.' and it's fun to guess why that guy bought the baby bottles after he tested out the nipples. watching people peruse amuses me, folks. witnessing that teeny little spark when she discovers some brown sneakers that were hardly even worn...sigh. don't you get a good feeling when you know you just scored a sweet bargain? FUN TO WATCH IT HAPPEN!!!

there is a similar experience in the salon.  to help my client carryout her style decision, the smile on her face when she sees the finished product, satisfaction. Keep the customers satisfied, SATISFIED!



plus, it is FRIDAY!!! i hope you know how i love the friday post.  and youse.
happy at the week end xo.

rhymes with 'oop'

blip. blop. bloop.


i just can't get the engine to turn over
but the radio works
i just cant get the seat adjusted
but the mirrors are okay.
my foot doesn't reach the accelerator,
but the hand brake works.
fine.
just FINE.


........
beep.boop.
.........
rebooting....
.........

Kids, I am feeling a little Eeyore-ish, or Droopy.

.....

So, I just previewed my blog and the pictures of these characters made me laugh.  :)

I have just been totally not raring to go, but that is just fine. No, really.  I have been enjoying not having appointments to get to or basically any commitments other than my evening gig at the MOE.  

Today I sorted and organized and collected toys for over 2 hours.  I was actually sweating.  Then when I look at them all lined up in the bins, it doesn't look like we are drowning in toys.  I like this look.  I was drilling into the kids, "I am happy that you pick up the toys in your bedroom. Be sure to put them back in the proper bins.  The PROPER bins.  Okay?"  They were like, yeah yeah.  I mean, does it really matter if they are put back into proper bins? Not really.  And they so enjoy when they rediscover a long lost item, unearthed from a misplacement during clean up time.  

I haven't been sleeping well the last few days.  Which makes me tired in the morning, which is why I drink coffee so late into the day, which is why, I'm only guessing here, I can't sleep at night.  It is a terrible cycle which can only be broken on a very busy day.  Like Saturday.  Until then, I'll read into the wee hours, yawn after the sun comes up and enjoy my coffee and diet Coke in between!

....

if you are at all in the mood for a kiddo update, judah has fallen in love with books.  he wants to read thomas the train stories 11 times in a row.  i tend to make it to 4 reads through before i start him in a different direction.  it's fun tho'.  tonight i was reading Percy and The Dragon (don't worry, it's a paper dragon for the parade).  judah was entranced and gasped and oh no'ed at just the right moments.  i love that we can read it and then read it again immediately and he is still into the suspense of the story just as much.  sweet Love.

suvi is truly aware of beauty.  she notices fancy and beautiful ladies where ever we go.  yesterday at the store, she wanted me to tell the clerk how beautiful she is.  it is sort of a weird thing to just give someone such a personal and subjective observational compliment. so shyly i say, "my daughter wants you to know she thinks you are so pretty." of course the lady is tickled to hear these words, bridged from my four year old daughter.  i've been spreading these kinds of rainbows all over town lately. sweet Love.

i have been feeling inept when it comes to our theo.  he's just so smart and sensitive, it scares me.  he has taught himself to read.  he is drawing and coloring so very carefully.  it amazes me how he has grown and learned so much.  i dread the start of kindergarten for my sake, and i'm thrilled for his sake.  he is ready to start his first steps away from mama.  i am so proud of him.  every success he has is just another squeeze on my heart. this is the joy of motherhood. (the whining and moaning and begging, well, that is another story.)  sweet Love.

...

Happy Thursday, Peeps!  xo

jen-nay

haircut

it's my constant debate: keep growing the hair, or go short? i am still on the growing track.  for now.  last night after work i decided to trim up my bangs, and then found myself doing a whole haircut.   after going through my cut and styling my hair a bit, i was feeling pretty cute.  until i looked down.   i had a little comb out cape on, thinking i was keeping myself hair free.  shoot.

and this is even after some fell off when i walked over to grab the camera.  and my gut is curving like the earth. a hairy earth.  EEW! (snicker) mmm. snickers... what? me? random? well, how 'bout this. theo just said, "celery ice cream? that sounds DELICIOUS." and you thought *I* was random.

if i would have been wearing this cute litte cape, i would have been so stylin'.

i wonder if i should get this for when i do bridal hair.  would you feel like you were a lamp? table?  it's so funny and somehow sort of cute.

luckily, he wears his guilt on his face.

after judah went down for his nap this afternoon, suvi and theo and i went outside to play.  there was a little racing, a little digging, a little wipe-out, and a little bit of a chill.  suvi and i decided to sit in the car (so nice and warm in there) while theo did his thing.  once theo climbed into the car, the ridiculousness of sitting in the car (hello, ever heard of a sweatshirt? of course the girls are chilled in their tanks!) was revealed to me.  i shooed them out of the flex.  theo lingered a while in the out of doors.  i peeked at him; he was digging in the dirt near the deck.  he came back in the house soon enough, but my mom sensors perked up.  he was extra cheery and perhaps a bit smug.

me: what did you do?
him: i put a nail by the tire.
me: by the tire on my car?
him: mm-hmm.
me: show me. right.now.
him: well, i don't even need socks and shoes...

there it was, behind the driver's side rear wheel.  seriously.  normally i get so frustrated with his antics, but thankfully i remained cool as a cucumber.  i explained that if i got a flat tire when i was at work, i wouldn't be able to come home.  or if it happened while i was driving, it could be very dangerous on the side of the road.

theo suggested that if it happened right when i was leaving for work, then i wouldn't be able to go.

THE KID DOES NOT WANT HIS MA TO GO TO WORK.
his ma would love to stay home every night.  thankfully i enjoy my work, it makes it easier to be away from my family.  for me.  but theo would probably like to have his mom tuck him in more often, and maybe go for a walk with the family after supper.  i get why he wants me home.  but a nail in the tire is NOT the best way to communicate that desire.  agreed?

serious stinker.
earlier he asked me why i had to go to work on wednesday, because i don't have to work on wednesdays (usually).  i said life is expensive and we need money to pay our bills.  "but life is just life! how can it be expensive? it's just...life!"  it's true.  he is one wise stinkerdoodle.

me and my
living under his
tho i walk through the valley of the

...shadow of my part.

from the...

street,

street,

street.

i really wanted to take a self portrait of me acting 'street', but haven't, as of yet.

and, silhouette.  it's not a perfect silhouette, but this *is* a perfect boy!

Lights of Excellence

What a great in-salon work week. New friends, a decade+ friend...ah, how these friends make me smile. We have been enjoying the twinkly lights in the salon. Last week the tree decorations came down, and I suppose the tree will be next. The icicle lights on the walls will stay. They add to the ambiance. My friends, oh loverlies, are indeed the brightest lights (at the mark) of excellence.

sniffle, sniffle

this has been another week of the sicks around here.  theo is miserable with a sinus-y/chest cold.  i am starting to feel a little sinus-y myself, so i pulled out the neti pot yesterday. sighhhhh.  he's five now, so i did dare give him a homeopathic cold n cough remedy.  it really helps take some of the misery away, he's not constantly coughing an hour out.  i bought it last night, gave it to him at 11, but didn't go to bed myself until nearly 1 o'clock.  since he's never taken anything like that before, i was worried he might be allergic.  so far so good.  i bought my third humidifier-- this one actually works (it's a vaporizer--what is the difference?).  it was under 20 bucks.  yesterday, i had him sit in the bathroom with the shower on hot, hot, hot.  that really helped.  vicks on his back, chest, feet, vaseline on the spot below the nose and above the lip, oj in his thomas cup, and tv on.  that part is for me, most certainly, sue me.  i LIKE sesame street. right now i hear a song about 'if you look, you'll find bugs everywhere!'  eew. EVERYWHERE?

some good, fun planning occurred this week.  setting up hair appointments, making paper chains, ordering thank you cards for my clients with a photo of yours truly on the front... too funny.

i added 'thank you' to the upper right, and on the back some words of thanks for my clients.  i finished our fall photo album on mixbook (i had a groupon).  excited to see how it turns out, as i have mostly used shutterfly (there is a 40% off sale right now until ann b's birthday) and snapfish (sales there, too).  there are many more design options on mixbook; i really hope the quality of the printing is better, too... i'll report back when it arrives.

alrighty, off to watch elmo. i mean, take care of the kids.  yeah, yeah, that's it. the kids...