The ol' Switcheroo!

Judah writes with either hand.

i like these ol' beautes.

Suvi likes to use the camera.  you can see the reflection of her t-shirt in the window. i was just getting home from work when she took this photo.

today i have been a bit angsty, worrying about finances and the fact that judah needs a filling. he had an appointment last week, but wouldn't allow the dentist to even look at the tooth. it's 'L', for those of you who know your baby teeth. 

i heard the mail arrive and in it was some good, good celebration-worthy news for someone we love (we, as in my family in this house, not we, as in you the reader & i). also, we got the Valpak envelope & i wonder whether folks actually open &/or use the adverts inside. my heavy heart switched from worry and despair to tears of joy.  it's THE best kind of switcheroo.

monday movement

breathe in two, three, four,
hold, two, three, four,
release to............eight.

under my skin
under the muscle
a burning hot fabric wraps around my lungs
pulling tighter, stinging heat
winding up my throat

breathe, two, three, four

pull that air down past the lungs to my belly
cool the grip
loosen the hold

close my eyes
the heat moves off my lungs
      to my shoulders, my tears

breathing two, three, four

and it's gone.
.........

i've been having some disruptive thoughts this morning.
the night was full of dreams. not bad dreams, just disruptive.
i have been longing for times gone by, aching for earlier couches
    and simpler pains.
my thoughts started to weigh heavy on my chest, and i was searching,
searching my brain to find the source of this angst.
then it hit me.
someone i love moved across the country last week.  i didn't have much time to prepare, or even to say more than 'good luck & good-bye!' i've needed to grieve or absorb this change, needed to talk about it, but haven't been able to find a conversation.
the connection to those disruptive thoughts, perhaps, is that the loss is similar. my loved one who moved will always be part of my life, but i will surely miss being in the same room with her. the obsessive thoughts that tried to spur an anxiety attack this morning, are tied to a person from my past from whom i moved away. we never had an official 'good-bye'.
things change, people change, responsibilities change, expectations change.
addresses change.
(last names change, too, thankfully!)

two heads are better than one

Today my husband was sharing some observations he has made about Theo.  Completely spot-on understanding of how Theo works.  In that moment I was humbled, because I feel that I know my children better than anyone.  I'm the Mommy and I have to know.  I was also thankful- for my husband, for his keen perception, for his love for our children.  He is a thinker, while I am a reactor.  I loved that Hab could show me more of our son.  This marriage thing, this parenting thing, Habtamu is so good for me.

Tomorrow Theo has a follow-up appointment at the pediatrician.  Saturday afternoon Habtamu brought him to the ER at the UofM Children's.  Theo was barely able to get to the bathroom on his own, his legs and hips were so sore.  They went to the weekend walk-in clinic first; the doctor there sent them straight across the street to the hospital.  There the amazing crew had so many tests and monitors going so quickly...I am thankful Daddy was the one who brought him in.  I would have been so freaked out.

Theo had been up nearly all night Friday.  I went to work on about an hour of sleep.  So by 2:30 when I got back home from work, I could not even think.  I had expected Theo to improve after he slept a bit, thinking it was exhaustion causing him to be so uncomfortable.  He was actually napping, but we decided it would be better to get in somewhere sooner with him being tired, than later and having to wait in line.

They were gone about 5 hours.  I was a wreck.  I wanted to save my worrying for when I knew what it was I should worry about, but for a few minutes, tears and lumps in my throat were stronger than my will.  Suvi climbed up on the top bunk to pat my shoulder.  "Theo will be okay, Mommy."  I knew I had to be done with that kind of emotion, I didn't want to scare Suvi, or put her in the care-taker roll.  She is such a dear, dear girl.  A huge heart.  We watched a movie, took Judah outside...and waited.

The initial tests were inconclusive.  Tomorrow we will go to see Dr Rabinovich to discuss the rest of the results.  Theo has inflammation in his joints-especially hips and knees.  There is some sort of infection, and that is what we hope to learn more about tomorrow.  He is in a lot of pain, although he has a stronger than ibuprofen to help with that and reduce the inflammation.  The hospital gave him a little bear, a beanie baby, to show him how they were going to draw blood.  He got to bring the bear home.  Tonight when I was tucking him in, he named the bear: "Fluffy. Is that a good name, Mom?" Yes, indeed!

I decided to skip Sunday School and church this morning.  He probably could have gone, but I just didn't have it in me to make him limp all the way to a pew, or ride in a stroller.  Theo is a perfectionist, as Habtamu pointed out, and is embarassed by the limping.  He loves school.  While he was definitely nervous to start, he was more concerned about starting his Kindergarten in less than perfect working order.  Seriously SO amazing, is my boy.  Our boy.

MEANWHILE...It is Ethiopian New Year!  The aunties invited us (and Gram, too, but she had a date with her own siblings:) for a late lunch to celebrate.  They have an indoor pool in their apartment complex, but we left the suits at home today to eliminate any extra stress.  The food was so nice; of course there was coffee.  If you are new here,  Ethiopians have a tradition of roasting fresh coffee beans, offering the aromatic smoke to the family, then boiling the coffee in a decorated clay pot. Often spices are added...cloves and more that escape me!  It is super strong.  I have to make mine with equal parts coffee and milk PLUS sugar. It's good, though, and reminds me of coffee in Finland. 

With the coffee roasting, there is a lot of smoke.  I am not sure if the incense is used to combat the smell, or enhance it.  Never the less, there is a lot of aroma and smoke going on.  

playing in the sunbeam and smoke

maybe he was playing superhero

judah

suvi jumped up on the couch to hug her brother.  she loves him AND the camera.  before he went to meet his teacher on wednesday, she hugged him. "i'm going to miss you. tell me everything when you get home."

sweet LOVE.

Happy Easter!

Melkam Fasika! መልካም ፋሲካ

We'll be spending today with our Ethiopian aunties to celebrate Easter (on the Orthodox calendar).  

"Easter is our day of great festivity!"

that's right. i AM a lucky duck.

I just have to brag for one minute.

My sisters-in-law are here.  They entertained the kids while I made lunch for myself and the kids.  Then fed the kids, and made their OWN lunch.  My house smells so good, and my brain is so pleased to have an unexpected little break in the day.  I know they love playing with the kids, but these aunties might not know how much I appreciate them!  Guess I am one lucky lady.

up, up and away!!!

it was a fast 3 months!  hard to believe it, but Ayat is on her way back home now.  and we all survived!  heh. 

laughing at the kids

see that skirt?  there's a funny story.  hab took her out shopping to find a new outfit (i've since learned her closet is jam-packed full at home, with skirts and dresses that she loves, could never part with, or, ahem, fit into anytime soon).  this was a priority for Ayat; she pestered mentioned it to H a few times.  when they returned from the FIRST shopping excursion, she put on her 2X top and size 18 skirt.  clearly she is not a plus size gal, so that outfit had to go back.  the next trip was to schmacy's, with coupons in hand.  she found that skirt, pictured, and a simple top that matched perfectly (and the ensemble for 22 bucks. for that price, i'd say she looked stunning!).  for some reason, she decided it had to go back, it just wouldn't do.  too colorful.  fine.  back to the mall.  did i mention the habinator despises the mall? yeah.  can't stand it.  he likes to get in, get out, get on with life.  on the third shot, they found an equal bargain which he told her was not going to be returned.  she did try to get one more exchange out of him, but he didn't budge.  so this skirt, you know, the one that wasn't going to work, went back.  skip forward a few weeks to thanksgiving night.  ayat returns from my favorite person's house WEARING THE SKIRT.  i spotted it immediately and brought it to my husband's attention.  we started laughing. 

after she had settled into the couch, he mentioned this skirt was a repeat.  she laughed and said martha gave it to her. uh-huh. okaaaaaay. (i think she just didn't like the shirt they found to go with it the first time.  gah!)  oh ayat, you are such a stinkerdoodle.  safe travels, m.i.l. until next time, Adios!

........

travel is such a strange thing.  you wake up in one place, and go to sleep somewhere completely different.  even on a trip to the u.p., the act of moving from one side of the lake to the other amazes me.  continuing through space and time.  hmm.



like white

on Rice Park in Saint Pauli.  We did a drive-by on Sunday night to look at the pretty lights.

I like this Angel tooting his horn.  He's got a good message, it's about THE best birthday.  Ever.

Rice Park is in front of the Landmark Center (i have no idea what is special about the Landmark Center, i've just always heard about it because it lives in the Capitol of Minnesota, and that's from here. wink.).

it's a good lookin' building, tho.  and i like the clock up there.

theo and suvi and addis are at the foot of this tree.  you can see t's red jacket.  these photos are sooc.  maybe i'll play around with them a bit...

Wishing you a light and bright Thursday, yo!

good things

something good.  really, really good is happening over here.  i.am.so.happy.

i am not sure what it is about having my mother-in-law here, and h's sister, A...i love the feeling in the house.  and we have seen sister M so much more than usual in this last week.  M and I have become such good friends in the last couple of years.  i so enjoy her straight forward perspective on things, and i LOVE to make her laugh.  {joni, so many things about her remind me of you, and often i wish you lived near me (for many reasons), i think you would have fun with M, too.  she's your kind of people.  ( i miss you.  and when we talked on saturday, i was thinking it was sunday, so i hope you know i meant 'on monday' and not 'tomorrow' which was sunday. lol)} 
tomorrow is ethiopian new year, so with english phonetic spelling, i wish you melkam addis amet!

 መልካም   አዲስ ዓመት

we went to the girls' apartment for supper tonight.  my mom was invited, too.  it makes my heart beat joyfully that she is getting to know h's family.  it's like the weave of my life basket sturdying up.  like fingers lacing together.  and things are not perfect. 

we all had/have some adjusting to do around the VIP.  she's in need of a little bolstering, so i'm pretty much going to have to get 50-75% stricter with her. (wink)  you know, i love a little bump to get over and then to ponder on the construction of the bump, and why it was placed in this particular section of road, and then to plan how i will approach any sort of similar bump, should they appear on the path before me. 

A is just unbelievably sweet to her mom.  in the evenings she sits right next to her on the couch.  i like it.  she makes me smile every night.  and. during the day? oh my.  she does what ever she can to help her mom, too much, probably, while helping me with the kids, or just enjoying playing with them, as well as keeping the sink clear of any dirty dishes, which totally inspires me to stay on top of it.  no clutter, my friends, has collected this week.  my dining room buffet thing?  no piles.  laundry? done and done.  (oh my word. A's jeans are so tiny. 26. what is that? size one? and her shirts are XS.  i used kid hangers to hang them up!)  yesterday their relatives came over, h said A cleaned all day while i was at my niece's bridal shower (forgot my camera) and then at work.  kids toys, blankies, sweeping, straightening...busy, busy girl.

 

i'm no pollyanna. there are totally moments when i'm like, really? are you kidding me with this? they don't last long. family does, tho. last long, i mean. it's a good thing. super good.

i was wishing for a photo to post, alas, nothing new to share.  i thought i'd post from this month 2010.  look at these two cutie mccutersons.

and here they are again 11 months later.  at the same lake, different shores.

and because when i came upon it i laughed, this one is for you, bette-bette-better. xo!

day three

a moment i never thought, but often hoped, could happen.  lunch with my mom and h's mom.  together. at the same table.  that means on the same continent, in the same COUNTRY!!!  (they have matching expressions)

roast yer own

borrow cups and saucers from mom (these were a hand-me-next-door from sandi) and pull out the spoons from finland (to match the arabia cups)

enjoy!

kids don't care

you have to work in the morning?
kids don't care
you had a long day?
kids don't care
bills are adding up?
kids.don't.care.

hair is greasy and messy?
kids don't care
clothes a little dated?
kids don't care
dustballs under the bed?
kids don't care

just stop.
just listen.
just ooh and aah.
just comfort and soothe.
just one more bedtime story.
from daddy.  who has to work in the morning.
...
the last few days have been pretty intense. theo and suvi are feeling a little bit unsure of our VIP.  she doesn't look the same as the photo we have of her, it's from a decade ago.  they can't talk to her, which they knew would be the case in advance, but they didn't quite get it, she speaks amharic.  suvi saved her hug and kiss until today.  theo gave his yesterday at the airport, and that might be it for a while.  he's having the hardest time adjusting.  i'm sure he'll ease in to life with Ayat soon.  judah LOVES Ayat because he can't speak much english either, they have that in common, and she shared her food with him.  more than once.  (he's easy.)

all of this PLUS mom and dad moved their bedroom upstairs.  that's a lot of change for this house.  so tonight, theo and suvi did not get to bed until 10:30 when daddy came back down to tuck them in one last time.  just a little extra snuggle and reassurance.  they finally fell asleep.  sweet daddy.

kids just want the comfort of their parents.  i had to call my mommy today for a little familiar comfort, too.  and to tell her about the yummy peach and raspberry dessert i made because of the one she told me about last week.  i shared a little story with her about the airport.  aunty A was watching for her mom; when she spotted Ayat come through the sliding doors to the baggage claim A started running.  she didn't care.  she needed her mommy!  it was so sweet.  i cry every time i remember it.  my mom did, too, when i relayed the story on the phone.  the camera was ready, but honestly, the sight of mother and daughter embracing, it was too emotional.  aunty A is relatively new here, just 10 months of MN under her belt.  all the newness, all the decisions and bumps in the road, it is overwhelming.  i couldn't take the picture with all the mist in my eyes, anyhow.  it will warm my heart for quite sometime, i'm sure, the image of their reunion.

well, the house is clean.

except for the upstairs (and the basement).  i had to let go of getting the upstairs all figured out because we did some deeeeeep cleaning.  (slash, ran out of time) mj (my ma) even pulled out the fine wood cleaner to get the yogurt and pudding off the dresser in my living room.  she don't mess around. 

my lofah and i tossed quite a bit of crapola out during the prep for our VIP. switched out the UGLY old bathroom light fixture.  even painted our living room.

we did the east wall somewhere between these two photos.  behr magic spell.  and a cream color on the other walls.  sweeet.  no more suvi artwork-for a few days, until she finds the crayons again.  or a marker.  she's flexible in her graffiti.  also, she likes to fluff.  that's what she calls it when she uses the swiffer duster.  as in "mama, can *i* fluff?  i want to fluff now."  yes, my love, you can fluff.

there's a new rug in the living room.  it's an indoor/outdoor, not too scratchy!  i was taking a photo of the old rug to maybe put on craig's list, and these two kept darting in front of the camera.  had to indulge them.  stinkers!!!

 i scrubbed that shower at least five times since we moved in. ;) i tried scrubbing bubbles, lysol, baking soda, vinegar, regular old lime away, boomtastic, fantastic...nothing would budge the build-up. 

eew.  was it really as bad as this picture? ish.

 until...clr BATH and KITCHEN.  dude.  it is a strong chemical, but it totally changed my life.  seriously. because, five years we've been here, and i've hated this shower every time i have stepped in it.
this week i worked on the walls an hour or so at a time.  last night h's sis helped me by scrubbing the tub. we used this scrubby thing.  soooo much better.  i love it.  i was sweating scrubbing the shower walls and she was right there in the tub with me workin' it. 

before finishing the shower, tho, Auntie A watched the kiddos and Husband H took me on a date.  we drove to Smashburger, vetoed it even tho i have a groupon for the place, even tho the food is pret.ty yummy.  wasn't in the mood for that kind of chairs.  as if you aren't that picky. sheesh.  considered heading out to plywood for a little wild wings action, but we *might* have been there the night before with the kids.  what.  it was a holiday weekend.  practically vacation.  waiting at the stop light on winnetka and 55 still debating where to eat...when the light changed...friday's.  i know.  we are all about the chain restaurants.  i like predictable sometimes, because the rest of life surely is not.  :) and yes, ann, i did get a burger and fries. there was avacado.  does that count for some variety? heh.

auntie A and her sis always help me so much over here...they don't read my blog, but THANKS A & M!!! (not the university)  there were some finishing touches to be done around here today and then...

about 4:00 our VIP landed.  h's mother! it's been 4 years since they have seen each other.  i couldn't help but tear up.  all day.

it is a wickedly long trip, 23 hours of travel time. today is the first time the kids and i have been able to see her.  i am so so so happy she is here.  one teeny problem: we don't speak a common language.  

berlitz should add an amharic lesson to their language tapes. (oh, wait. they do have lessons available  i meant to say rosetta stone.) for ME.  what a wonderful Monday!!!!

siskot, ihanat

there are times
sometimes
when all i need is to shed
tears of laughter
and empathy
and sadness
in lawn chairs
with your twin sister
and your fancy, oldest sister
or at a picnic table
and to see how you love each other
even when
sometimes
we can't understand
or demand
or reprimand

we command each other's love and attention
even when the golf cart parade
waves to distraction
from microwaves and bikes
and those tears
and pains
are of laughter
lovely sisters

thank you, k & m,
love you both so very much.

you are lovely and beautiful and sassy, too.