Wanna hear it? (Again?)
Well, shoooooooh. Here goes!
-I completely suck at managing money
--and earning it
-I'm really fat
--and slowly getting fatter
---my son has commented on how fast I eat
---and his sister calls me Fat & Big Fat, daily when she's frustrated
-I'm self obsessed & 'helpless'
These are all things I can probably change, I can improve. things I can make better, but they're always gonna be challenges for me. it's part of who I am, and for now, it's literally weighing me down.
I had a no-show client today. And as I waited for my second client I could feel my anxiety rising. It was as if this client not showing up was like a personal rejection. In actuality, and I think that he is struggling with his own happiness and frustration levels at work and home, it's more of a reflection of his time management than an act of disrespect to me. But I felt like he was stealing from me. I felt guilty for taking time off (we were camping-it was LOVELY) last week. I was stressing about paying bills. About personal commitments I made for this week, thinking about how his generous tip would afford me those commitments. Plotting what I can sell. Questioning myself: if I have to be away from my family, why am I not doing all I can to earn more?
Then, I pulled out my phone, played a game (cut the rope) until my 2nd client arrived. She just got the news her hours are being cut at her job. Plus she has a sty and mono. Those are legit, out-of-her-hands problems. I'm just over here rockin my personal pity party for one. C'mon, Jennifer! Move your BUNS!