LOVE has come for you.

Monday, February 8, 2010

What can I say?

My niece is getting married on Saturday evening at our church there on Willow.  You should come.  7.  There will be ca-ake...!

But what should I say in the card?  What stands out to you in your own experience, or in words others have shared with you?

In a face to face with her, I talked about communication, and being humble and unassuming (i think that is a big one), and, um, making sure she spends a lot of time face to face/everything to everything with her husband.  Pivotal.  Ooh.  There is just know way to avoid the double entendre here, is there?  And you know, sometimes you like plain cheese pizza, while other times you really crave something with a little more of a gourmet attempt at pizza.  Right?  Well, I talked about that with her, but I want to write something more.  Not just the seasons of love, ups and downs,  ...more. 

What would you like to say to the bride you, now that you are further from the wedding day?  Or, what have you observed or received in confidence in the form of a marriage education?  I would tell me that one fight doesn't mean it is over.  On the totally rare occaision me and the mister might have a slight disagreement (probably has only happened once or twice in our five years of bliss), I always feel like its over.  My life is ruined and now what am I going to do.  He always assures me this is not the case, and so far I have to believe him.  No.  I do believe him.  :)

Any boys sneaking a read out there?  What do you think? 


Laura Jean said...

I would say- as would Davin (we've had this conversation)- that, NO MATTER WHAT- you have eachother's back. You stand up for eachother. You be the other's rock when they need it. You will fight. It's healthy, actually. But, like you said, it does not mean the marriage is over.

This might be a given, but communication is the name of the game.

Girls are sensitive- he may not always understand your emotions, but if he lets you be you, everyone is better off. Hee.

Most of all, don't forget what you fell in love with. I fell in love with Davin's eyes, and I compliment them to this day. When we started dating, holding hands felt so right- to this day we go to bed holding hands. It makes me feel safe and loved.

It's the little things.

How's that for bit and pieces?

Congrats to your niece!

Julie said...

Now I'm hungry for pizza. ;) Lol.

Congrats to your niece! Enjoy the cake. Sounds like a fun evening...

As far as advice, let me think for a minute if I have any that's useful.

I think I'd have to say to always make time for each other. The face-to-face stuff is so important, especially if/when they start a family. If you can't get out, then just sit next to each other on the couch and snuggle. Go to bed early, shut the door and chat about your day for awhile with no distractions. We always have the best conversations when we're away from the worries of the world. We notice we start second-guessing motives and other things when we haven't had that time to connect every day and remember why we fell in love with each other in the first place. Even on the hardest days, it only takes a few moments to remember those endearing qualities that made you fall in love.

And show mercy and forgiveness. There will be times when you both stumble but learn from those times and let them help you grow together.

Leanne said...

Yes. Find time for each other. As often as possible.

Also, respect each other, as individuals as well as a spouse. That's been a big one for Cory and me.

It's sweet of you to be so thoughtful instead of generic about it. I'm certain she'll appreciate that so much!

Jan said...

My mom told me when I got married that it's not a 50/50 deal. Each of you has to give 110%.

MindiJo said...

Ooh, I missed your blog when I was gone.

My biggest aha! about the marriage thing: the harder you try to make your spouse happy, the happier they try to make you. If I just think along those lines, everything else just falls into place.