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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

oh, you didn't know?/i finally got a library card

Yes.  I really AM that nuts.

Some of my crazy was revealed today, all because I am a terrible liar.  I was invited to go visiting during preschool.  Two people invited us, actually, but I declined both of them.  One decline was a true spacey moment for me-I received a text while I was driving and by the time I parked it had vanished from my mind, and the other, well...I just.couldn't.go.

Theo was invited to go play after preschool at his 4th cousins house. (ha, ha.  aside from my ma and siblings & their lots, we really don't have any extended family from our church.  my grandparents sort of lost touch with the church, so my aunts and uncle do whatever they do, while my mommy was converted as a teenager. anyway...)  I was planning to just get over my anxious hesitations, but Theo got scared and told me he didn't want to go to Aric's house.  After I dropped him at preschool in Timbuktu, I called to cancel with Aric's mom.  I could have still gone to visit, Suvi and Judah would have loved it, but it was too much for me.  WHY?  I really, really like Aric's Mom, and so, next time, I WILL make Theo and his MOM stick to the plan.

The cancelling and the forgetting, while unfortunate, is somewhat usual for me.  I have learned how to sort of let the pain of it go.  There are plenty of times when it wouldn't have felt overwhelming to go have a visit at someone's house, and there will be more invites.  I hope! ;)  But, the uncomfortable thing is...I was tapped by the other mom's at pick-up time.  The texter outed me.  So Naughty!!  I just wanted to make some nice casual chatter while Theo got his stuff together, but once I was outed, then I admitted that I just sort of... drove around for 2 hours.  What.  As if you haven't ever just gone for a drive.  "You could have stayed here!"  "Why didn't you just come over!"  And one of the Mom's had a terrible look of confusion or pity on her face, like a 'what in the world?' kind of look.

I should have just LIED.  Or said, "Thank you.  I am not feeling so hot, but I would love to do it another day."

Would you like to know what kind of "errands" were done in that time?  The car got a fill-up at the edge of town, then we left Watertown for Long Lake, where I got coffee for me, doughnuts and milk for the kids (from 'super' gas station).  We parked over at the church to make a little car picnic.  There.  That's not so bad, is it?

Have you ever had to awkwardly tell on yourself?  Reveal some of your nutserness?  Tell me.  Make me feel better, because misery loves COMPANY!  Unless, of course, misery is feeling frazzled and can't love company.
the letters for the preschoolers today: MN

Gram gave a scooter to Theo.  He hasn't loved his bike, so she thought he might enjoy 'scootin' on their trips to the park.  Suvi usually rides her trike...there has been a lot of competition for the scooter here in the last 24 hours...;)
.......
I've been thinking about the library...you know, you can just go there and get books? for free?  serious.  Fa-ree!  We brought seven books home with us today.  And did you know you have to check your books out yourself?  So many things have changed in the eight or so years since I have been a patron.  I am excited to go back solo.  I'd like to read something that isn't about superheroes or busytown.  

8 comments:

MindiJo said...

Ummm. I've done that before. Made up an excuse to not go somewhere. On more than one occasion. AND. It will happen again. But when I do just go, I never regret. So, how bad would it be if I just went?

Anonymous said...

I hear ya. Been there, done that, and will probably do it again. For no good reason, although I think I have a reason.
By the way, cannot live without my library card.
~ann b.

Anonymous said...

I am so glad you got to the library! I hope the kids will love it. And I loved your story (twice:) -jr

elizabeth said...

Pretty sure I have. Though of course in this moment, I cannot think of a thing. I have driven around while waiting for things, though.

I don't know how I would manage without my library card! I think I visit about 2-3 times a week. Which reminds me, I need to pop by today.

Jan said...

Okay, well, last night when we were visiting, I farted, silently, then had to 'fess when the mom sitting next to me started checking her kid's diaper.
And that aint the first it's happened.
Was this the kind of story you were looking for? I gotta go back and read the post...

Jan said...

Oh, and those who know we more, know if I say "I am not feeling real well right now" know it's a mental thing- It's kind a code for me, saying I can't take anything more on right now...
or CUT ME SOME SLACK! It's me, not you, SO DON'T FEEL HURT.
And then I have to reciprocate, and cut others slack too.

ethiopifinn said...

jan. you made me laugh. it was exactly what i was looking for!

Laura said...

Social anxiety. I used to have it bad. I'm doing better with it.

Did you know you can go online to the li-bary and put books on hold? They will transfer anything from li-bary to li-bary. Then they let you know when it's at YOUR li-bary sitting on hold for you to pick up! It's amazing.