happiness

LOVE has come for you.

Monday, March 12, 2012

i am not even sure how to wish my wish

This morning when I read a page from my book in progress  over there on the right under New and Inspirey, my heart jumped.  How exciting! I gasped to myself.  I *wish* I could say that some day.  Because I do wish that.  But...

There is this "but *I* would never be able to write a book.  I don't even know how to start, or where my heart really lies in the matter, and who would even want to read anything I authored anyhow," attached to my wish.  GASP! It's the same kind of thinking that keeps me fat.  "I'll never be able to eat right or start exercizing; I will die from fatness."  Duh.  Nothing changes until something changes.

Does the world need another book?  Another "this is where I was and this is where I am and here is how I got from there to here" book?  Nah.  But I do.  I need it.

You know what?  Some days are super awesome and I can listen to reason and stay out of the bread and sugar. Like today.  For lunch?  Super sensible:  Turkey and ham and a light Babybel cheese on a mini sandwich round thing.and a cuke, tom, lettuce salad.  I was still hungry after a bit, which I announced to my Mother, who promptly suggested fruit, SO I ate an apple.  Seriously.  This is completely elementary and probably one of the, if not THE most difficult challenge in my day.  Actually choosing the food that is best for me, rather than that which is sinfully wrong and delicious.  Sigh.

I do know how and what to eat healthier, will I, is the question.  I know where to start, and what to buy, and  where to look for help.   I do not know where to start or the how or the why to start writing.  It's in me, the desire.  My throat actually gets tight and I get a little flutter in my gut when I think about it.  I guess I'll just start writing the right thing and know it.  Some day.  I WISH! to speak softly to myself.  That will start...n.o.w.

Love to you!


6 comments:

Laura said...

Start by writing the book for YOU. You definately have a way with words so I know it's in you. I've always thought you should write short stories - maybe for magazines... It may take off into something phenomenal - like you!

Julie said...

Yes. We do need another book, especially by the lovely and extraordinary, you! You have the gift and dream within you and all you need to start.

Jan said...

Three pages a day. Every day. After a month, you have 90 pages.

I am tempted to start a fictional book, because I have read that the story unfolds itself, and the author doesn't even know how it'll turn out.
I would love to experience that!

MindiJo said...

Oooooh. I love the short story idea. You should write. I wrote "you should right" by accident the first time around. Anywho. You have all this beauty inside of you waiting to spill out in to the world. We catch morsels of it here. Imagine how wonderful it would be in the form of a book? I'm going to go pre-order it right now.

Making the correct food choices *is* hard. Today I told myself that I wasn't going to eat that Kit Kat. My willpower carried me a whole five minutes. As if.

Anonymous said...

I am weak in the will power (w/food) department, and I want to write a book (where to start?). I want you to write a book too. I know it would be great. -jr

elizabeth said...

I have given up on willpower. Best decision ever. It most certainly was not any help and it definitely did not help me feel loving and compassionate toward myself.

The world needs your book. As do we. I am looking forward to reading it someday!