LOVE has come for you.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

i can't get no


Looking for images that inspired positive thoughts to share, I came upon these favorite photos; while they are not technically beautiful, they settle the restlessness. I'm reminded of the Tin Man with his empty chest--knock on it and it echoes a hollow reply. It isn't that my heart is missing, but I'm feeling a bit tin-y. OIL! Just a little to get that head of mine cranking out the words to delight and dazzle, comfort the achy fingers. These photos are my oil.

This elephant has appeared on Facebook, and just now I remember sending it to a friend in Sweden. What a funny choice to send across the sea. Did I hear that friend is married now? The clothes were favourites. It was a time when I felt confident. It would be fun to have all that hair again--and no grays!

The trip out West was the first road trip Habtamu and I took together. It was fun and challenging. I learned how fast he could drive through Canada, and not through Wyoming. We drove 3001 miles. So many favorites: SD, MI t-shirt, my Love, road trip, & summer skin.

Although my shirt was a bit revealing--a problem covering-up what I spent my 20's advertising, its moments like this one that make motherhood so enjoyable for me. I don't want to be the crabby, screaming Mom. I want to be a flowy, help you find your wings Mom. And I will do.

I listen to a few minutes of a radio show Saturday mornings on my short car ride to work. It seems to be focused on living a positive life, the power of intention, positive confession, that sort of You Go Girl type of conversation. I sometimes have a difficult time resolving the Scandinavian version of humbled guilt and the American entitlement philosophies. I am not sure if we really can affect our lives by sending out positive vibrations, but haven't we always heard that we reap what we sew? Couldn't that be true for intention, attitude, satisfaction? My life is blessed with a loving healthy family, a fine house to make our home, in a wonderful nation, where Hubby and I both have jobs, opportunity to be creative, to learn and grow, to be humble and to be proud, to laugh and to sigh. I am free to find the silver linings. I do it all the time with other people, and today within myself. If there are heavier darker days, stiff and squeaky days, I can find satisfaction in my silver linings-sweet babies, strong husband, creative and forgiven/forgiving self. Satisfied? (whenever I say silver lining to somebody, and when I think about it for myself, i get a mental picture of a cloud with a shiny satin silver lining--like inside a coat. this thought, and sharing it make me smile. mission accomplished!)


Jan said...

Well, there is CBT- cognitive behavioral therapy, which has the premise of 'by changing the way you think, you can change the way you feel.'
It works. I am evidence.

Not sure if this is where you were going with it, but that's my thought.
I try to find the good stuff of being a mama, since I don't enjoy the housework drudge work stuff. And there is good stuff. Even if my house is not clean.
: ) Let's see more photos!

Anonymous said...

I love this post. I love your goal as a mother to not be the screaming type. And I love how you worded the Scandinavian and American thing. SO true. ~Brita

Anonymous said...

my dear,

Will you publish a book please? I will buy your first copy, signed, of course...

Your words give me a grin, and make me THINK. And thinking is taxing sometimes. You go girl.


ethiopifinn said...

thanks for the props, mamas. Girl Power!

Heli said...

I wish I could understand everything:)
Same in Finnish please;)

Leanne said...

What Bette said. What a lovely entry to read. Write a book; I'll buy your second (autographed) copy.

Anonymous said...

Totally reminded me of the U w/ the Scandinavian vs. American comment... Wondering if you miss it at all? :)

In regards to that, I understand the sentiment, but wonder what exactly you mean by entitlements? Opportunism seems to fit better, but I may be am reading it wrong? (Not trying to critisize, just trying to clarify...)

Thinking of the U, I've been thinking a lot of Goran lately. Ray's hair is reminding me of him, and that in and of itself says I should give it a cut, huh?! :) I kinda like the wildman look - and I married Babyface! Heh.

To continue with Goran - my sister got a Saint Bernard puppy! I can't wait to see it. I never saw Goran's dog, but I remember your details about it. Hilarious!

I'll have to comment on the deeper things later... maybe in person eatting Papa John's?! :)

Barton B.

Elizabeth said...

great post, Jenny - I'll third the book. Your writing is flowy, suck you in with the beauty of the words and then make you think. :)

I chuckled at the advertising thing because I find them to be a nuisance and would much prefer to be flat-chested, LOL. Always thought this.

I do think that you can change your life and how you feel (to some degree) by changing the way you think. I would wager that my life would be very different if I were a less sunny individual. However, I tend to take issue with many of "The Secret" type of people when they go so far as to say that if your reality is negative, you are simply not thinking positively enough. Do not like that at all.

ethiopifinn said...

heli; that is a good homework assignment for me.
bb. i don't miss the school part of the u, but i do miss the neighborhood--shops, architecture, students and profs, river...as far as entitlements, your interpretation may be different than my intention, but that is the beauty of perception. ya?
e: i'm right there with you about the secret.

~ Junkyard Jennifer said...

I love how your post makes us think. I was going to echo the sentiments of everyone else. Your writing is so thought provoking. I love that. (Insert chanting: Book! Book! Book!) ;)

I often have the same thoughts on being a mom that isn't screaming. I was recently telling a friend that I feel like I holler a lot and how I wish that I didn't. But after I got off the phone and started thinking about it, I realized I don't yell that much at all.

I am not saying I 'never' do. We all have our moments! ;) I'm just glad they're more rare than they once were...it feels nice to realize that.