happiness

LOVE has come for you.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

aw nuts!

I would, I hope you know, not ever say that. Unless I was talking about some really awe inspiring nuts.

When I see something at the store with peanuts, i want to buy it. Even things that I wouldn't really, for sure, in truth want to consume. I am just ANGRY that Theo is allergic. There are moments of insanity when I want to think the doc is nuts, and that my little Muffin can eat them. Those smucker's ready made pbj sandwiches in the freezer section especially tick me off. I can't bring that crap into my house. No matter how much I would like to (and again, I wouldn't buy that, it is just the thing that catches my eye, getting me all fired up).

I hate peanuts, peanut butter, all nuts in case of cross-over reactions, manufacturing facilities that are not peanut free, the cartoon peanuts, pb cups, cookies and ice cream. UGH!!!!

why is this happening!? meep.

(yes, i realize it is not the worst that can happen. it just pisses me right off sometimes, and i really would like to eat some peanut butter toast with homemade raspberry jam, if you must know)

11 comments:

Laura Jean said...

Whenever I'm mad at something I wish really bad that I had a paint ball gun. If I were you, I'd walk through the grocery store and shoot everything with peanuts with a bright blue SPLAT! Mostly, I wish for a paint ball gun when people are mean. I guess I'm a violent person. Eek. By the way, I always go "huh?" when I read "meep". ???

For real, sorry 'bout the peanut allergy! I'd get angry at peanuts also...

Jan said...

did you just find out, or have you known this for awhile, and just got fired up again?

Joni said...

Sorry Jenny - let your feelings out, it'll speed up the acceptance process...you're doing a great job.

ethiopifinn said...

laura! lol!i so want a paint ball gun! i usually want to punch people in the throat, so the paintball thing doesn't seem violent in comparison. and since peanuts don't have a throat...
jan-i was suspicious since last may, and finally got him tested in Dec. we have been really successful (toomany c's or s's?) at avoiding peanut stuff, so i should be happy about that, but ... i just feel like i don't know how to get my feelings out about it.
thanks jone. <3

Elizabeth said...

yeah, I agree .. let your feelings out! Hey .. maybe you could buy a bag of unshelled peanuts and jump all over them! Not at home, of course, but outside in the grocery store parking lot, with plastic bags on your feet so you don't track it in the house. Seriously! Doesn't that sound like it'd help you feel better?!

MindiJo said...

I'm laughing at Elizabeth. What a hoot!

But I quickly sober up when I think about your problem. That sucks. I mean REALLY sucks. Not to pity you or make you feel worse. It would be really hard to deal with.

Honestly, I'll take the hip problems my youngest two have over that. Although it is draining at times, it's fixable.

Those freezer sandwiches? Blech. My kids had one one time at the Target cafe deal. They were sorta soggy. Wierd. Hope that makes you feel a little better.

Let your frusterations out at any time. Is it wierd that I always say I could punch someone in the ear? Hey, it'd hurt!

MindiJo said...

BTW: That's a gorgeous picture of you! I know, it's been there for a while. I just always thought that. So why not tell you?

Anonymous said...

Wow, Jenny, you've done a great job keeping it all in if you've known for awhile! I'd be angry too! Is Theo's allergy quite severe or is it more of the milder sort? I thought Laura's and Libby's recommendations are great! To be told I couldn't have something again would really make me crave it, too. I don't blame you for wanting pb toast... can you have other butter toast? (Personally, I'd prefer almonds and cashews any day over peanuts...) Give Lil Theo a big hug from us, ok?! :)
-Angie

~ Junkyard Jennifer said...

It pisses me off, too. I hate peanuts. The word is poison. Toxic. Death. Blech!

I hate that there are peanuts and peanut butter and peanut contaminated things in this world! And, as you said, I even hate that there is a cartoon by the name!

Ah! That feels good.

You find acceptance but you still get angry sometimes... It comes and goes. But mostly you accept and adjust. Lots of adjusting. And then you find your new 'normal'.

The feelings about this whole thing are a funny thing. It sometimes feels eerily surreal. Like, it's all made up. As though it's impossible to have such an allergy. Your mind wants to tell you there is no way something like this exists, that your precious child doesn't have it. You want to believe it but the truth is in the reactions...the symptoms...

We survived on PB&J's growing up. How can they be toxic to our own children?! It's a darn amazing thing and the emotions it brings up in us are definitely a mixed bunch.

I've been thinking about you. A lot. It will get easier. But, if you're like me, you'll always miss peanut butter. Deep down. Maybe not in a real, overly conscious way, but when you're looking through recipes, or grabbing the Soy Butter or Sun Butter or Almond Butter or whichever other butter alternative you choose, which ironically are right next to the peanut butter(!), you'll miss it...just a little. Just for a minute. And then you move on. Back to your reality and your new 'normal'. Acceptance. It's a beautiful thing but it takes time...

And, why is it when we can't have something we want it so much!!

ethiopifinn said...

thanks for all the thoughts and encouragement.
my eyes are really, really hot and blurry. sniff.

i eat soy butter n it does the trick, but the disbelief feeling jennifer shared totally hit the nail on the head. theo tasted my soy butter toast n gagged, so he probably wouldn't even like pbj's!

elizabeth, i'll stomp on those little buggers immediately after i splatter them with paint balls, and punch them in the ear. hmm...i sound kinda pent up. heh, heh. or drive over them with a zamboni!!!!!

angeh, angel...so far he had a couple hrs of hives accompanied by fever & vomiting for several days, thankfully no need for the epi pen yet.

Anonymous said...

Jen,

That's HORRIBLE!!! I always feel sorry for the families who have to deal with the peanut allergy thing. You have a right to be pissed off. Really pissed off!

Forget the Piant Ball Gun....Get a semi-automatic and go through the peanut aisle........ha ha. Really. The paint ball gun is a great idea! I can just envision it.

Bette