I've known for quite some time that many people don't, can't, won't say what they mean or want or feel. They feel no need, or maybe feel they aren't sure where to start to use words. Maybe they, these non-confessing, non-confronting folk, wish/assume you already get it. Am I getting close, non-commentors? Whatever the reason, I have plenty o' folk in my world who aren't as fluent, shall we say, as I am. This sounds a little judgey, but, um, don't you think your way is best, too? heh. It frustrates the non-verbals that I am so "talky", but it helps me sort things out. The only thing I want stuffed is a sausage. I HAVE to talk out what I am feeling. I am an emotive reactor. So sue me. Or just be mad about it and NEVER tell me. That will improve the climate of our exchanges.
Hmm. This is coming off so negative...
The surprising part for me is the decoy statement. Things people say that they don't mean. See, I get that some of you are going to have some emotions that I can't sit on you and make you share with me, but it just knocks me on my badonk when I discover a sike. Okay, fine. There are times I've played along when I hear, "let's do coffee!", but usually, I say, "I am not a planner. So YOU call me." I'll totally go if you do the leg work. You know what I'm talking about, the "Thanks. I like yours, too!"s and the, "Wow, your hair is different. I mean, it looks great!"s and the, "I hope you fail at your endeavor, because you are rotten"s. Yeah. Those bombs. They devastate me when I hear them. I just can't fathom saying things that I really am not feeling. Is it safe to assume you mean it? Do you really think so little of me? And if the perp is part of the inner circle, ughh. Words are so important to me that hurtful words are weightier than they ought to be. It is a bit of a surprise, the sudden moment of seeing the other's hurt.
The last couple of weeks I've had some challenges, and some visits of clear thinking. Great understanding of my environs and of my piece in the puzzle. It shocks me when I stumble upon a misunderstanding, or a gap in the connection. Really? I gasp, you didn't know this was happening? I was trusting the line was free of static, and I thought I was sharing my perspective diligently. Suddenly my own communication and expectation tendencies were slapping me in the face. It is a good reminder for me that simply saying my piece does not mean I am getting my message across. The other end of the line might be distracted by activity or tired or on overload. Or down. The other end of the line might simply be down.
So I must keep at it. Saying my piece and checking the line and listening. Discovering I haven't been heard when I simply cannot shut up, well, it's always a bit of a surprise.
Get real, get with it!!
Get OVER it.