LOVE has come for you.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

it is really so very complicated having a mother-in-law

it is really so very complicated having a mother-in-law.  some of you may have already known this.  while i have been married pert-near 7 years, one might guess this should not be big news.  dude.  my mil lives on t'other side of the world?  and i haven't had to share my family until now?  hooh. 

and now we have just one more week with her.  hooh.

getting to know a person with whom i do not share a common language is a bit of a challenge.  not letting myself fill in the blanks is a challenge.  accepting the things i cannot change, total challenge.  loving the mother of my husband: done and easy.  she is a bit fragile.  not her bones, but her countenance.  since her husband passed a few years ago, she isn't sure of herself and what her purpose might be.  together they raised 14 children, so now that her husband is gone-on and her children are adults, it seems she doesn't know her role anymore.  somehow the mourning sadness faded a bit, but she stayed still. 

i had imagined walking to the park with ayat and the kids, showing her our beautiful zoo, walking the lake... she isn't the woman my husband remembers.  it seems she has a bit of The Blues and she doesn't know how, or that she can, shake it.  and it breaks my husband's heart to see her wounded this way.  and mine. and... it ties me to her in a way she'll never know.  she and i are made of the same sensitive cloth; i see similarities between the two of us.  i love her.  sometimes i want to shake her, but i do love her.

this time with her has taught me a lot about my husband.  he is resilient.  he manages to muddle through the dredgy, boggy, depressiony aspects of life with his wife.  and his mother.  my sugar booger is, lest you forget, totally awesome and wonderful...and a looker.  Ahem.  these last three months are evidence of the first two, and the third part there, well, that's just obvious fact my friends. 

Whit-woo, if I do say so myself.
the kids have fallen in love with ayat, too.  they will surely miss her.  theo likes to snuggle under her gabby blanket in the afternoon, suvi often takes her perch on the back of the couch behind ayat, and judah...well, he loves practically everybody he meets, especially if they share their food with him. heh. 


Brita said...

Again, great peek into your life. You somehow wrapped up your feelings, your mil's feelings, your husband's feelings, and your kids' feelings. How do you do that so well?

MindiJo said...

Ahem. Yep. He is a looker.

What a hard thing it must be to say goodbye to the man you shared your heart and soul and life with. When my grandpa died, I remember my grandma being broken for a long time. It was sweet. In a bitter way. What a love it must have been. You should feel lucky for her that she had a love like that.

Beautiful post. I love it.

MindiJo said...

Also, quit taking polls about how to do hair and share the knowledge already!! Some people need the knowledge to de-frumpify and/or to do something new. I just recently took an interest in how-to hairdos on the internet and I look much less amish. If I do say so myself. Even ZZtop noticed. I won't tell you what he said, but it was worth the effort. So, if for nobody else, do it for me. THANKS!!

mella said...

lovely post. what a rich journey you all have been on from when she first arrived...

and I like Judah's style, I'm pretty much of an 'easy keeper' too!

hugs and love~

Anonymous said...

:) you're just great. -jr

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you enjoyed your time with her. And that the kids love her. The pics of them together will be so treasured in the future.
~ann b.